Changing the way I think about fitness...("Michael")

Before I get into my rant, here's the workout for the day:
"Michael"
3x:
500m run
50 back extensions
50 ball crunches

29:23

With everything I've been doing over the last month or so - counting calories, logging workouts, stressing about over-eating and drinking - I've been having a lot of inner dialogue about what it is that keeps my mind and body happy. Is it being as lean as possible? Possibly. Is it being a faster cyclist, stronger skier, better endurance althete? Sure. Is it being able to have fun with my friends, enjoy a good beer (or multiple good beers), and keep the stress level to a minimum? Ding, Ding, Ding! I'm not a professional athlete, I'm not a fitness model. I'm just a regular girl who wants to be able to keep up with my husband and enjoy being outside.

What is the main purpose of working out and eating well? Performance is #1, staying at a healthy weight is right up there at #2. With all the stressing about body fat %, weight loss, etc I think I started losing track of the big picture. I've been busting my ass and I've lost 1 lb. I kept beating myself up about it. Obviously it will take a serious life change to get back to 19%. However, I began asking myself a few questions last week:

Q: Am I fit?
A: Hell yeah! Faster and stronger than ever on my bike, killing it on the skis. Even with all the injuries, I've even kept up pretty strong with my functional fitness.

Q: Am I healthy?
A: Other than my shoulder, I am extremely healthy. My BF% is lower than average, my weight is very healthy.

Q: Why do I want to lose more weight/fat?
A: To look hot. Seriously, that's it. Plus, I'd like all my old clothes to fit. It would probably help my biking and climbing too, but who knows.

Q: What would it truly take to hit the 19% mark again?
A: Morning workouts, limiting calories even more, protein supplements, long weight sessions, no more beer, no more sugar. Being a social retard at all the summer BBQs. Beign pissed off every time I see Josh drinking a beer.

Q: What makes me happy in terms of fitness and body image?
A: Putting the smack down on a long climb, having the ability to hang in on a 8-hour day, having a whole box of matches to burn instead of just one, not being injured, being able to look at myself and think "wow, I look strong".

Q: Is it sustainable? Is it truly worth it?
A: No. That's what I've decided. If it's that hard for me to get super lean again, I won't be able to sustain that kind of lifestyle. I love beer. I love cookies. I love ice cream. Don't get me wrong - I'm not crashing off the wagon completely. I will continue tracking my eating and cutting down on weekday beer drinking. I will continue to work my ass off to get stronger and faster. I will stay sub-155#. I think I can make a few positive changes and keep my body at a very healthy place. A summer of bike riding and Crossfit will do wonders.

So for the summer, here are a few of my resolutions:
1. Don't drink beer Sunday - Wednesday. Not willing to give up my Thursday nights with the girls.
2. Ride my bike at least three times a week.
3. Do at least 3 Crossfit-type workouts a week.
4. Get out in the sun to play a lot. Take some days to just sit at the pool and read. Drink beer and BBQ with my friends after huge bike rides. Take the boat out with Maddie and Josh a few times. Lead some trad. Do some gardening.
5. Love myself the way I am. Increase the positive self-talk because I have nothing to be ashamed or disappointed about. I'm a strong, fit, happy person!

Here's to a GREAT summer.